Real Couplets Maître-d’école

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

 [REAL COUPLETS MAÎTRE-D’ÉCOLE]

 Avoid the bitter, herbal teas,
they were the Gift of Socrates. 

And shadows cast on the potato
vodka were conceived by Plato. 

But for the label on the bottle,
we can thank old Aristotle. 

“I truly love this langoustine,”
confessed the brave St. Augustine. 

“You’re wrong! (Forgive my lack of shyness):
Truth is not faith,” said St. Aquinas. 

“Phenomenal to see this bagel
I have synthesized,” said Hegel. 

“If you want Sauerkraut Piquant,
try reasoning with Immanuel Kant! 

“Or are you ordering a la carte?”
“I think I am,” said R. Descartes. 

“Your Ethic’s slippery as this lichee!”
Thus spake Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche. 

“This is, like learning, tough and chewy,
and hard to swallow,” said John Dewey. 

“J’existe for junk food in Montmartre,
(pas pour Simone),” said Jean Paul Sartre. 

Each one his thesis thus asserts,
and each ends up with just desserts.

This poem was written by Karl Zimmer. Karl is a former board member of the Indiana Humanities Council, and the former president of Zimmer Paper Products. He is also the author of “Spreading the Word: How a ‘Johnny Appleseed’ from the Heartland spread American books across three continents.”